Tuesday, May 19, 2015

STOP BANGING ON THE DOOR!

I thought I would continue my story about taking my mom to the Day Enrichment Center a couple days a week.

We had an appointment this morning with the nurse for an intake assessment and I hoped that when we got there my mom would get the feeling she had the day she was so excited about being there that she talked about it all the way home. 

I wasn't going to tell her where we were going until the last possible minute. Maybe not until we pulled into the parking lot. 

When she got up this morning she had a migraine. 

Plan over.

I gave her something for her headache, sat her down in the recliner, and left the room to call the Center to let them know we would not be there today. 

I told a friend that it just didn't seem like it was meant to be. Every time I think it may work out for her to go to this center, God slams the door in my face. Should I give it up, or stand out here banging on it yelling, "Why?" 

I'm mulling it over. There must be a reason that things just aren't working out. It's a nice place that will keep her mind and body active. Her doctor recommends it. She enjoyed it, at least part of the time she was there.

I don't like to accept that it's not the place for her, but things are just not coming together. She didn't like it at first, then when I thought maybe she liked it, she said she had a terrible day there and was terribly upset on Friday, and now she has a migraine when we have an appointment for her assessment.

Okay. I just have to accept the fact that it is just not right for HER. 

I was getting into the accepting idea, (although not excited about it) when I opened my computer and read an article by Bob DeMarco from the Alzheimers Reading Room  who said "We are constrained by our own brains. We the caregivers have a tendency to give up, or to stop trying. Our brains tells us - we can't do it. Our own brains can be our biggest enemy when it comes to effective, loving, caring."

So here's my conundrum for today: Is the door truly shut, or am I  giving up too soon? Should I be persistent and try ONE MORE TIME, or should I STOP BANGING ON THE DOOR?

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